Today was the filling in of forms

London double decker buses are fun but nothing like as exciting as Czech trams. The daily trip into the office they have given me involves two tram trips in from the hotel. For some unknown reason the Czechs have joined in with that international madness of driving on the right side of the road and not the more rational left side favoured by the British and other more enlightened countries. The trams run along on tracks in the middle of the streets and roads and keep to the same rule. There is a left hand and a right hand pair of tracks This means when I catch my first tram in from Vellasalavin in the morning there is a fifty fifty chance that I will catch the correct tram (number 20 or number 26) but running in the wrong direction. ie it may be driving away from Hadcanska not towards it. The same applies to the number 18 I take from there which maybe either going towards Namesti Korlovy or away from it.

This really means there is only a one in four chance of me actually reaching the university any morning. That isn't so serious but the same odds apply to me going back to my hotel afterwards. In fact they are worse because to gain confidence in getting on the right tram I usuallyneed some Czech beer first. Yesterday a whole new random error was introduced into the equation. I caught the right tram number 18 to get back to Hradcanska where I must change. I took my life in my hands by scuttling across the road to an open market. I bought some oranges that actually turned out to be grapefruit but that didn't matter and some grapes that turned out to be grapes but with no seeds in them.

I still dont speak enough Czech to hold a conversation but was chatting to the bar owner in German. He pointed out my tram was just coming so I had to bolt down my beer' rush back acroos the street and was just in time to jump on a number 18 before he closed the doors. Not only was it the wrong tram but it was going the wrong way to somewhere called Pryatzin or something like that. The driver sits in a little walled off compartment with a door and it we set off before Irealised it was the wrong tram going ion the wrong direction. I hammered on his door and he doesn't speak English. I wanted him to stop and reverse back along the tram tracks to Hradcanska. I tried him in German.

'Bitte gehen zuruck zu Hradcanska.' Simple enough to understand I would have thought. I also tried 'stop and back up'

No use he just laughed and carried on. Actually it was a rather pretty ride and I saw parts of the Prague area I had not seen before until he reached the terminus. Because it was the terminus at least any tram I got on was going in the right direction.

You will understand now if this journal may have gaps of three or four days in it. During this time I will be touring the entire Czech tram system trying to get home.

I was going to write about the form filling this morning. How it took the conbined efforts of three charming Czech administrators and myself for three hours to fail to fill in three forms.

. . . but I'm not going to it is too boring and frankly you wouldn't believe it anyway.